Thursday, July 3, 2008

WHO'S HAPPY OUT THERE?

The July edition of Newsweek had a riveting article by Lorraine Ali: Who Says Kids Make You Happy. Turns out that Daniel Gilbert's 2006 book "Stumbling on Happiness" indicates that marital satisfaction dsecreases dramatically after the birth of the firs tchild, and increases only after the last child has left home. Arthur C. Brooks, Author of 2008 "Gross National Happiness" finds that parents are Italicabout 7 percentage points less likely to report being happy than the childless. This goes against the cultural graine for sure and the authors reported getting hate mail in response to some of their survey work according to Robin Simon, a sociology professor who gathered information from 13,000 families. The childless couples, it is suggested, must feel redeemed for their heretofore unpopular stance of choosing child free marriages.

Then again in a recent Time magazine series on love, the research showed that while falling in love a temporary insanity highly positive in value, has a term limit of approximately 18 months, and that the mythology of the 7 year itch where the bloom is off the rose, the honeymoon is over, and intensity in the relationship is diminished-is an actual measureable outcome. In the state of being in love, as opposed to before was researched What makes people happy in love is how they feel about themselves as much as how they feel about their fascination with the object of their affection. However, after 7 years people pretty much go back to whatever their former state of happiness or unhappiness before the falling in love.

Seems like what makes people happy is themselves: what they choose to put their attention on or are compelled to find attractive that requires something more of themselves that they respond to than they would find within themselves would be one assessment of these studies reported.

Having a necessary funtion/role/passion fulfills and maybe that's what makes us happy. Another report of the Newsweek July 7th article is that married people are significantly less likely than the unmarried to visit their parents or siblings; 80% of the unmarried contacted parents with the the past month was the report. Hmmm, so what makes us happy might be intimate contact and two can be the loneliest number accordingly to this data, wedded bliss and isolation chosen over contact outside the unit.

My happiness is all about intimate contact sharing my life with other people, experiencing what other people feel and care about even if I don't agree with them. That is the very reason for this blog. How about you? Who's happy out there and what do you attribute to your state of happiness or unhappiness?

1 comment:

  1. I am happy. I love my life. I love that I can be authentic, loving and live in a world where I can tell the truth...I love that I have someone to love and I love that art has become such a large part of my life. I am grateful.

    affinity aka Robin Mingle

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